Posted by
Oscar De Los Santos and Kelly L. Goodridge on Saturday, November 14, 2009 7:00:09 AM
By Kelly L. Goodridge and Oscar De Los Santos
In Obamanopoly, players start out with money, a house, health insurance, a retirement plan and savings accounts. Some have small businesses; others have farms and work for themselves. Many are working at their career of choice. Unfortunately, instead of watching their wealth grow, players watch it disappear.
Obamanopoly is a game of luck. It’s also a game of war as players from the private sector fight to hold onto their assets while racing to reach the vault that contains Obama’s long-form birth certificate. During play, Obama, Congress and the Department of Justice – a government of endless dishonesty and lacking fiscal responsibility – blankets the board with communism by taking one’s freedom and wealth and redistributing it about the board.
Players try to reach the birth certificate and hold-off the communist takeover. They are taxed with each roll of the dice. They can only hope that they don’t land on any community organization or union spaces. If so, they have to draw a Community (Organizer) Chest card that forces more income redistribution. Players pay their fines and taxes in “Obama Money.”
By the way, in Obamanopoly, as in the original game, we're dealing with phony money. It's no effort to keep spending and printing it. Why should the administration be nervous about asking Congress to raise the national debt ceiling? It's just a game, right?
Tax increase spaces are liberally spread throughout the board. There’s also a mandatory health care space and if players don’t or can’t pay, they go directly to jail. The Cap and Trade, carbon footprint, and greenhouse gas spaces all take 40% of one’s wealth. The Constitution is written in invisible ink and players soon learn that their money and property belong to the government.
Speaking of property, green and red houses and businesses (what other colors would these be in a game obsessed with green energy and communist takeover?) are ultimately stripped from the original owners and returned to Fannie and Freddie, who in turn deeds them back to the government. Of course, a lucky few may draw an ACORN card from the Chance or Community (Organizer) Chest piles and keep their property for a few trips around the board. Then non-fixed interest rates spike and it’s goodbye sweet home, goodbye.
So much for home. What about work? Whom do you work for? Do you happen to own a business, large or small? It doesn’t matter. Sooner or later, like those business ownership cards one acquires upon purchase of a property in the original Monopoly, someone else will own them. In this case, it's the government as Obama & Co. swallow the little guy and takeover big business, moving all players ever closer to socialism.
Of course, if you’re anxious to get there and put yourself out of the misery, hop a ride aboard one of the vehicles slapped together by the bailed out government car dealers that have replaced the original Monopoly’s railroads.
Naturally, the rules of Obamanopoly include amnesty for illegal aliens and rights for all terrorists. In fact, at all times during the game, one is under threat of a nuclear or terrorist attack. Because the game is set in a nation governed by a utopian dreamer, there is no recourse for one of these hits except to close the board and accept defeat for all.
Oh, and the game instructions are transparent. Are you ready to Advance to Go?
Then how about a stay in jail? As in the original game, there's a detainment center – but no one deserving stays there. Terrorists, traitors and chiselers are let loose in Bermuda and other exotic locales.
Who gets stuck in the clink? Who doesn't get to pass go and collect 200 dollars? You know whom because you’re trapped in the game with the rest of us.